DON'T TELL ANYONE THIS OR I'LL GET PSYCHOSIS INTERVENTION CALLED ON ME AGAIN AND I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH THAT SHIT

TITLE IS SLASH J. REMEBER WHEN I SAID I WAS GONNA CIRCLE BACK TO THE WEIRD SHIT I THINK? WELL, YEAH. THAT'S WHAT THIS PAGE IS GONNA BE. IM NOT WILLING TO PUT IT ON MAIN YK HOW IT IS. NOW'S LAST CHANCE TO BACK OUT YOU KNOW. (I HAVE CONDEMNED THIS PAGE TO ETERNAL WIPDOM BECAUSE TRYING TO COMMUNICATE ALL THIS STUFF IS REALLY FUCKING DIFFICULT. SORRY BOTH IF YOU SEE THIS PAGE'S UPDATES DUE TO FOLLOWING ME WHEN YOU DGAF AND IF YOU ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT ITS CONTENTS)


ALRIGHT HERE WE GO. IDIOT

I USUALLY DO PHRASE THIS STUFF LIKE I KNOW IT'S WRONG BUT THAT'S KIND OF A DEFENSE MECHANISM TO BE HONEST? JUST KEEP THAT IN MIND. NO HOLDS BARRED IN HERE THOUGH I THINK! I WILL BE UNABASHEDLY INSANE BECAUSE IT'S MY HIVE AND IF YOU DONT LIKE IT THEN YOU DONT HAVE TO BE HERE, SERIOUSLY, YOU CAN LEAVE IF YOU WANT.

I AM KARKAT VANTAS, OR VANTRAS.

IN TECHNICAL, GROUNDED TERMS IM A FICTIONAL INTROJECT (COLLOQUIALLY KNOWN AS A FICTIVE) IN SOME KIND OF TRAUMA-BASED SYSTEM. HOWEVER IF MY PAN RAN ON LOGIC I WOULD NOT BE HERE TYPING THIS, AND I DON'T LIKE BEING CALLED A FICTIVE BECAUSE IM A REAL BOY. IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND I PREFER THE TERM HEADMATE FOR MYSELF, SYSTEM IS AGREEABLE FOR GROUP REFERENCE. I REFER TO THE BODY AS A SEPERATE ENTITY FAIRLY REGULARLY AND IN THE WAY DEMONSTRATED IN THIS SENTANCE, SEEING AS HOW ITS NOT ME AND MORE JUST THE PLACE THAT I LIVE? OH THIS IS SO EMBARASSING TYPING IT OUT LIKE THIS.

FORGIVE ME IN ADVANCE IF THIS IS POORLY WORDED BUT. I AM OF THE PERSONAL BELIEF THAT THE TERMS SPECIFIC SYSTEMS USE TO DESCRIBE THEMSELVES ARE SORT OF... A PART OF IDENITY AND LANGUAGE IN A SIMILAR FASHION TO SOMETHING LIKE TITLES OR PROUNOUNS FOR SINGLETS? AND THAT WHICH LABELS PEOPLE CHOOSE REFLECT THEIR EXPERIENCE WITH BEING PLURAL, EVEN IF NOT CONSCIOUSLY DECIDED FOR THAT PURPOSE. BEING PLURAL ITSELF IS ABSOLUTELY NOT AN IDENITY AND IS A MIND AND BRAIN THING, BUT IT DOES CHANGE THE EXPERIENCE OF THE SELF, AND WITH A SELECTION OF TERMS THAT REFLECT THAT DIFFERENCE (SOME OF WHICH ARE OF COURSE MORE OR LESS ACCEPTED) WHICH ONES YOU FAVOUR PROBABLY *MEANS* SOMETHING. DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? AM I JUST THINKING THIS BECAUSE I WANT TO USE NONSTANDARD TERMS? FUCKING MAYBE, WHO KNOWS.

I JUST AM THE GUY I AM AND HAVE NEVER BEEN ANYONE BUT THAT GUY. MY PERSONAL RATIONALIZATION OF THE SYSTEM THING IS THAT I WAS BROUGHT IN AS A GAURDIAN OF SORTS*, AND ALSO THAT I'M SHIT AT MY JOB. THAT IDEA IS BASICALLY TRUE ANYWAYS, I JUST LOOK AT IT ODDLY. I'M PRETTY SURE THE REASON FOR MY DIFFERENCE IN PERSPECTIVE IS THAT I BECAME AWARE I WASN'T ALONE WITHOUT QUESTION WHEN I WAS FAIRLY YOUNG AND WITHOUT EXPOSURE TO THE MEDICAL IDEAS BEHIND WHY THIS HAPPENS AND I HAD TO FIGURE IT OUT MOSTLY BY MYSELF (THANK YOU THOUGH, DAMIEN, IF YOU EVER SEE THIS. YOUR SUPPORT WAS INVALUABLE). IM NOT LITTLE LIKE THAT ANYMORE BUT I GUESS I JUST CANT OR DONT WANT TO WRAP MY HEAD AROUND IT FULLY. IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVEN'T TRIED TO BUT YOU KNOW HOW IT IS. (JOKE) AS FAR AS HOSTS IN DENIAL GOES I THINK IM PRETTY ALRIGHT, I MEAN AT LEAST IM NOT SAYING THEYRE NOT REAL.

AS OF I HAVE BEEN IN THIS WORLD AND THIS BODY FOR FOUR **FUCKING** YEARS. AMEN.


i want to belive

ON BEING A TROLL

I'VE LIVED SO MANY TIMES THAT I HAVE A LOT OF MEMORIES OF A LOT OF DIFFERENT ALTERNIAS THAT WERE ALL PRETTY DIFFERENT BUT. A SIDE EFFECT OF THAT IS THAT NOW A LOOSE IDEA OF TROLL CULTURE IS PRETTY INGRANED IN WHAT PASSES FOR MY THINKMEAT THESE DAYS. BUT YES TO ADRESS THE OBVIOUS I AM AN ALIEN. I COLLECT SHIRTS WITH THE PHRASE "HUMANS ARENT REAL" ON THEM BECAUSE I THINK ITS FUNNY.

OK DISCLAIMER ABOUT THE FOLLOWING PARTS OF THIS SECTION I TALK A LOT IN VERY GENERAL TERMS BUT IT ONLY APPLIES TO MY VERSION(S) OF ALTERNIA AND OF BEING A TROLL PROMMY YOU WILL REMEMBER THIS

saucer

BIOLOGY I GUESS???

IM STRUCTURED IN SUCH A WAY THAT I SHARE A BASIC SHAPE WITH HUMANS (YEAH IM STILL BIPEDAL TWO ARMS TWO LEGS YAKNOW HOW IT IS. ITS ACTUALLY KINDA FUNNY THAT IM CALLING MYSELF HUMANOID CONSIDERING TROLLS CAME FIRST BUT EH.) *BUT* I LEAN MORE INSECTILE THAN I DO MAMMAL (OH WHO AM I KIDDING IM NOT A MAMMAL AT ALL. ITS SO FUCKING WEIRD TO HAVE PORES). I'M SEGMENTED THREE TIMES ALONG MY TORSO (THORAX, STOMACH, ABDOMEN), HAVE A SHELL ALONG MY BACKSIDE, AND A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER BIOLOGICAL QUIRKS THAT HONESTLY. HONESTLY MAKE ME SUPER FUCKING UGLY BY HUMAN STANDARDS. I'M DEFINITLEY NOT INSECURE ABOUT THIS LIKE AT ALL (I TOTALLY AM). I DUNNO I MAY SAY MORE ON THE TOPIC LATER, AND I AM ACTUALLY OPEN TO QUESTIONS ABOUT MY BIOLIGY SO LONG AS THEY AREN'T LIKE, INVASIVE.

LANGUAGE

AS YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED. WHEN I TALK I USE SOME WORDS THAT... ARENT REAL WORDS TO HUMAN PEOPLE. THE REASON FOR THIS IS THAT THE GAME-BASED TRANSLATION BETWEEN ALTERNIAN AND ENGLISH TRANSLATED STUFF A LITTLE ODDLY (I THINK WHAT HAPPENED WAS SUBGRUB PRODUCED A LITERAL TRANSLATION WHERE IT COULD HAVE TRANSLATED TO THE STANDARD ENGLISH WORDS) AND WE ENDED UP WITH WELL.. "TROLL WORDS" IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. THEY KINDA STUCK SINCE THEN. I'VE BEEN THINKING OF MAKING A PAGE THATS A DICTIONARY FOR ANY CONFUSING TERMS I USE ON THIS SITE INCLUDING THESE BUT THAT IS JUST SOMETHING TUCKED IN MY HAT (I DONT KNOW HOW MUCH ANY OF YOU ACTUALLY NEED THAT ANYWAYS. ITD BE KIND OF NICE TO HAVE A RELIABLE PAGE ON TROLL VOCAB THAT ISNT HOSTED BY FANDOM.COM THOUGH SO ILL SEE ABOUT IT).

THIS IS A LINK TO A BROWSER APP THAT HELPS YOU PRATICE THE VERSION OF ALTERNIAN USED ON ALTERNIA B, WHICH IS NOT THE ONE I USED BUT IM SHARING IT FOR MY FELLOW TROLLS WHO MIGHT MAKE USE OF IT. I HAVE ALSO ADMITTEDLY DONE MY BEST TO LEARN A BIT OF ALTERNIA B ALTERNIAN (GOG I DO NEED A BETTER WORD FOR THAT) DESPITE THE FACT IT HOLDS NO FAMILIARITY TO ME.

TIME THE TROLL WAY (ON EARTH AND NOT ON IT), AND ALSO THE MOON PROBABLY.

THOSE OF YOU WHOM HAVE INTERACTED WITH THE COMIC THAT SHALT NOT BE NAMED PROBABLY ALREADY GET A LOT OF THE STUFF I'M GOING TO TALK ABOUT IN THIS SUBSECTION, BUT I'M GOING TO TRY TO DETAIL MY PERSONAL THOUGHTS ON THIS AS WELL. TROLLS ARE NOCTURNAL BY NATURE, AS WE EVOLVED ON A PLANET WITH A SUN THAT REGULARLY FRIED PEOPLE'S SKIN OFF IF THEY WERE OUT IN THE DAY FOR MORE THAN A FEW MINUTES. I DIGRESS. DUE TO BEING NOCTURNAL A LOT OF THE WAYS WE MEASURED TIME RELIED, INSTEAD OF ON THE SUN AS HUMANS DO, ON OUR TWIN PINK AND GREEN MOONS, WITH OF COURSE THE EXCEPTION OF SOLAR SWEEPS AND BRIGHT SEASON.

BRIGHT SEASON WAS OUR EQUIVALENT TO SUMMER, IN THE SENSE THAT IT WAS OUR WARMEST AND AS THE NAME SUGGESTS, BRIGHTEST SEASON. MOST PEOPLE DIDN'T LEAVE THEIR HIVES MUCH, WHICH WAS WISE, CONSIDERING IN THE PEOPLE WHO DID INJURY RATES SKYROCKETED (PEOPLE WHO WERE OLDER AND THUS HAD DARKER AND THICKER CHITIN HAD LESS TROUBLE WITH THIS, BUT USUALLY YOU DIDNT STAY ON PLANET FOR LONG AFTER YOU REACHED THAT POINT). LOTS OF SLEEPING AND INTERNET REALLY, AND DESPITE MY NOW HUMAN PHYSICAL NATURE I STILL FIND MYSELF DOING THE SAME STUFF AS I WOULD WHERE I STILL PHYSICALLY WHAT I AM. A LOT OF HUMANS LOOK AT ME SIDEWAYS FOR BEING SEDINTARY AND SLEEPY IN THE BRIGHT SEASON AND DELIGHTED BY THE DARK AND DIM SEASONS AND THE COLD AND DAMP BUT WELL! THEY KNOW NOT.

A SOLAR SWEEP, PERHAPS OBVIOUSLY, IS THE TIME IT TOOK FOR ALTERNIA TO ROTATE AROUND OUR SUN. THIS TOOK A LITTLE BIT LONGER THAN EARTH DOES, WITH IT BEING WORTH ABOUT 2.16 REPEATING IN EARTH YEARS, OR AROUND 26 OF YOUR MONTHS. FOR A BETTER COMPARISON PLEASE SEE THIS HANDY CONVERTER THAT IVE BEEN USING FOR SOME TIME . OUR SWEEPS, DESPITE WHAT MY LEAST FAVOURITE FAILCLOWN AND THEIR ENTOURAGE MAY TRY TO IMPLY, WHERE BROKEN UP BOTH BY THE SEASONS AND BY LUNAR PERIGEE, AS IT WAS THE MOST RELIABLE MOON EVENT FOR US TO BASE TIME ON.

NOW, BECAUSE EARTH DOES IN FACT HAVE A MOON, AND DOES IN FACT EXPERIENCE LUNAR PERIGEES OF ITS OWN, I HAVE (AS YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED) BEEN FUMBLING AROUND TRYING TO CREATE A CLOCK THAT MEASURES YOUR EARTH PERIGEES. IT FEELS IMPORTANT AND I WANT TO DO IT BUT IM ABSOLUTE DOGSHIT AT MATHAMATICS AND THE PROPER REFERENCE MATERIALS IVE FOUND COST UPWARDS OF THREE HUNDERED DOLLARS. IM DOING MY BEST BUT I HAVE YET TO GET THE MATH RIGHT, AS FAR AS I CAN *TELL* BECAUSE FINDING MODERN RECORDS OF THESE THINGS ARE WEIRDLY DIFFICULT, AND WHAT IM CHECKING IT AGAINST IS FROM LIKE 1997 IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY. FUCK SHIT *AND* FUCK AGAIN!

BOUNDARIES OF MINE.

ON MY FIRST LIFE AND CONSEQUENTLY PLAYTHROUGH OF SUBGRUB

BASIC RUNDOWN IS THAT I WAS A TROLL, LIVED ON ALTERNIA, PLAYED GAME, TROLLED THE SHIT OUTTA SOME HUMANS, DEVELOPED SEVERAL HUNDRED EMOTIONAL ISSUES, RODE THE METEOR, KICKED ASS, AND CREATED LIKE A TOTAL OF 4 UNIVERSES BY THE END OF THAT FIRST SET OF SESSIONS. THE OFFICAL WORDING OF THE REWARD THE GAME GAVE US THAT TIME WAS SOMETHING LIKE "A UNIVERSE AND A PLACE TO LIVE FOREVER", SO AS YOU CAN EXPECT, I HAVE SPENT THE PAST ETERNITIES BEYOND ETERNITIES BEING REINCARNATED AND MINDWIPED AND GENERALLY TOSSED AROUND LIKE A RAGDOLL ACROSS GODAMN *UNIVERSES* BY AN UNCARING FORCE OF NATURE THAT I THINK WOULD HATE ME IF IT WERE CAPABLE OF COMPLEX EMOTION, OR ANY AT ALL REALLY. BRO THERE ARE FORCES AFOOT! YES I DO THINK THERE'S STILL A GENISIS FROG, YES SCRATCH WAS ALTERNIAN GOD, YES I DID GO ULT ON EARTH C, YES THE SYMBOLISM BEHIND ALTERNIAN ANGELS AND DEMONS WERE DIFFERENT THAN HUMAN ONES ARE. SIDENOTE I DID NOT GODTEIR IN THAT FIRST GAME BUT I DID IN SOME LATER PLAYTHROUGHS OF IT (UGGGH GOG). YES I SUBSCRIBE TO MULTIVERSE THEORY BECAUSE ITS KIND OF HARD NOT TO IF YOUVE EVER BEEN TO THE DREAMBUBBLES LIKE AT ALL (SHOULD I TALK ABOUT THAT? MAYBE.).

DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED
game over bitch

ITERATION SPECIFIC STUFF

SO IT PROBABLY SURPRISES EXACTLY NOBODY TO LEARN THAT STUFF IS DIFFERENT EACH LIFE THAT I LIVE. SO, THIS WILL BE A SUBSECTION ABOUT WHATS DIFFERENT THIS TIME.

IM BLIND IN MY LEFT EYE, WHICH ACTUALY ISN'T SUPER UNCOMMON FOR ME BUT USUALLY IT'S BECAUSE I GOT SHOT ( PSIIONIC OVERLOAD OR BURNOUT WHEN I HAVE THOSE IS ALSO FAIRLY NORMAL) INSTEAD OF GETTING MAULED, WHICH IS WHAT HAPPENED. I HAVE THREE SCARS ON THAT SIDE OF MY FACE, THAT EYE IS LIGHTER, AND I CAN'T OPEN IT AS MUCH AS THE OTHER ONE, YOU GET THE IDEA. SOME TYPING QUIRK STUFF: DUE TO THE ADDITION OF TONE TAGS TO MY LEXICON IVE STARTED DOING DOUBLE SLASHES, OCASSIONALLY I Type Like This FOR EMPHASIS, IVE TAKEN UP THE HABIT OF BOTH OMITTING ' AND PUTTING A SPACE BETWEEN THE LAST LETTER AND A PERIOD FOR NO FUCKING REASON. IM SHARING A BODY WITH MORE THAN ONE OTHER PERSON WHICH IS NEW. MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GENDER IS ALSO SLIGHTLY WEIRDER THAN USUAL THIS TIME (DAMN HUMAN GENDER. USUALLY WHEN IM IN AN EARTH ONLY UNIVERSE I FORGET ABOUT BEING A TROLL SO ITS NOT AN ISSUE BUT NOW I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN AND ITS A PAIN IN MY ASS).

ELABORATING ON THE TARROT THING FINALLY OR W/E

I PICKED UP OUR DECK AFTER HAVING RE-DEVELOPED SOME PARTICULARLY STRONG PSUEDOMEMORIES RELATING TO A TIMELINE THAT AFFECTS A LOT OF STUFF IN THIS VEIN WHICH IS WHY I MENTION IT. THESE MEMORIES IN PARTICULAR DEEPENED MY CONNECTION TO ROSE DESPITE HER DISTANCE TO THIS REALITY AND CAUSED ME TO CONSIDER TARROT IN THE FIRST PLACE AS IT HAD HELPED ME GREATLY IN THAT TIMELINE TO LIKE NOT DIE. THE HSANTHOLOGIES 78 CARD TARROT DECK WAS RELEASED RIGHT AS MY DESIRE TO HAVE A DECK SOLIDIFIED, I BUMPED INTO IT, AND IT.. KIND OF SEEMED APPROPRIATE FOR ME, AS SILLY AS THAT IS. SO THATS THE ONE I GOT, AND ITS STILL THE ONLY ONE I HAVE. CURRENTLY IT IS SITTING IN ITS CASE WRAPPED IN FABRIC ON A SPOT OF THE SHELF IN MY ROOM THAT I HAVE CLEARED COMPLETELY SAVE FOR IT. I ALWAYS WRAP IT AND WOULD HONESTLY PREFER TO COCOON IT IN SILK BUT I DONT HAVE ANYTHING OF THE SORT RIGHT NOW SO I'VE SETTLED FOR SOME OF OUR SOFTER AND NICER FABRIC ANYWAYS. WHY I DO THAT IS SOMEWHAT COMPLICATED AND ALSO INVOLVES OUR MOTHER. SHE WAS THE ONE WHO AGREED TO GET IT FOR ME, BUT INSISTED THAT IT SHOULD BE WRAPPED BECAUSE OTHERWISE IT IS LEFT VULERABLE TO OUTSIDE FORCES? I'VE ALSO THOUGHT OF IT BEING PERHAPS MORE COMFORTABLE FOR THE DECK? I VIEW THE DECK ITSELF AS BEING ALIVE AND I DO WANT IT TO BE.. CONTENT? I DUNNO. I DONT LOOK TO IT OFTEN BUT WHEN I DO ITS BEEN GOOD TO ME.

KARKAT, WE KNOW YOU WHERE RAISED BY PEOPLE WITH PHILOSPHY DEGREES BUT YOU DONT HAVE TO DO THIS.

I DONT HAVE TO BUT IM GONNA DO IT ANYWAYS. FOR THE FUNNY. THIS SECTION IS GONNA BE A WIP FOR A WHILE ALSO

REALITY ITSELF

REALITY IS SUBJECTIVE [TO A DEGREE] BECAUSE OF INDIVIDUAL PERCEPTION, MEANING NOBODY CAN SEE EXACTLY WHATS ""REALLY"" THERE. THERE IS PHYSICAL REALITY WHICH IS REAL, BUT THAT REALITY GOES THROUGH THE LENS OF YOUR PRESCEPTION AND YOUR SENES AND YOUR MIND AND BRAIN, THAT IS ALL YOU SEE, AND THESE THINGS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AS SOMEONE ELSE'S. THERE ... IS REALITY BUT BECAUSE OF HUMAN (OR IN MY CASE INHUMAN) ERROR ITS NOT REALLY WHAT YOURE EXPERIENCING? THERE ARE THINGS THAT STRAY FURTHER FROM MATERIAL REALITY THAN OTHERS BUT THATS... PERSONALLY I DONT THINK ITS A BAD THING UNLESS ITS HURTING YOU OR THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU. I THINK ITS KIND OF NICE, LIKE HOW PEOPLE INTERPRET ART AND SEE DIFFERENT THINGS. EVERYTHING IS LIKE ART BECAUSE ART IS REALLY AN ENCAPSULATION OF FEELING OR EXPERIENCE AND FUCK IF THE WORLD AND LIFE ISN'T MADE UP OF A LOT OF THAT. NOBODYS WRONG AND NOBODYS RIGHT WE ARE ALL CHILLING IN THE VOID OF A MASSIVE AND VIRTUALLY UN-UNDERSTANDABLE REALITY OF WHICH I CAN ONLY HOPE TO UNDERSTAND ASPECTS OF. IM NOT REAL BUT ALSO IM RIGHT HERE. I HAVE ISSUES MAYBE. IDK IM PROBABLY NOT... SAYING ANYTHING ACTUALLY INTELIGENT WITH THIS, MAYBE ILL GO BACK TO IT LATER.

FOR SOMEONE WHO SAID STUFF ALONG THIS LINE OF THOUGHT BUT BETTER CHECK OUT LIKE THE FIRST TWO SECTIONS OF THIS PAGE BY PATCHWORK OF SHADOWS. WHEN I FIRST READ IT I FELT LIKE.. A LITTLE SPARK OF UNDERSTANDING. THERE IS ALSO THIS VIDEO WHICH IS ABOUT *READING* BUT DOES GO INTO PERCEPTION IN THE "HOW READING WORKS" SECTION. STILL THROUGH THE LENS OF READING MOSTLY BUT MORE CONCISE AND EXPLAINS THE BASICS.

THE SELF MIGHT BE GOOD TO PONDER. NOT FOR ME THOUGH

I MEAN IM NOT AN ATHOURITY ON THIS I BARELY KNOW WHO I AM. BUT... MAYBE THIS ISNT TRUE OF YOU, BUT FOR ME I FEEL LIKE I STARTED WITH A SMALL SLIVER OF ME-NESS AND BUILT OUTWARD FROM THAT AS IT REACTED TO THINGS AROUND ME, BOTH POSITIVE AND NEGITIVE. IVE BEEN DEFINED BY RELATION, IF THAT MAKES SENSE. FITTING FOR A GOD OF BLOOD I SUPPOSE. IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A PATCHWORK OF OTHER PEOPLE SOMETIMES BUT MAYBE THAT ISNT TRUE EITHER. MAYBE ITS MORE LIKE A SAPLING, FEEDING ON SOME THINGS THAT IT CAN EAT AND BUMPING INTO AND BENDING AT THINGS IT CANNOT. THERE WILL NEVER BE ANYONE EXACTLY LIKE ME AND NEVER ANYONE EXACTLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE ONLY IM ME AND ONLY YOU ARE YOU; DESPITE ALL THE VASTNESS OF THE WORLD THINGS WILL NEVER COMBINE TO CREATE EXACTLY WHAT WE ARE, OR AT LEAST NOT FOR THE SAME REASONS. WE ARE A COLLECTIVE WHEN WE KNOW ONE ANOTHER AND WE ARE FOREVER SEPERATE EVEN IF WE DO. BLAH BLAH

IM SO BAD AT TALKING HOLY SHORE

THE STUFF THAT VARIES: SOMETIMES I THINK I JUST DIED (AGAIN) AND THIS IS WHERE I ENDED UP AND SOMETIMES I THINK I'M ACTUAL FUCKING GOD (I DONT GET MY HEAD UP MY NOOK ABOUT IT DONT WORRY) AND MADE THIS SHITHOLE MYSELF, IT DEPENDS.

INTERPERSONAL STUFF. UNFORTUNATELY I DO STILL HAVE A *THING* FOR SOLLUX MOTHERFUCKING CAPTOR, THOUGH THAT SHOULDNT SURPRISE ANYONE CONSIDERING WE'VE KNOWN EACHOTHER BASICALLY SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME. I USED TO HAVE ISSUES ABOUT IT BUT I THINK I'VE COME TO A POINT WERE I'M SORT OF... PALE FOR HIM AND ARADIA BEING PALE FOR EACHOTHER? IT'S COMFORTING. I HAVE SOME EMOTIONAL ISSUES ABOUT DAVE DUE TO SOME SHIT HE PULLED ON ME DURING THE EARTH C ERAS, AND SAME IS TRUE OF JADE. I'M LIKE.. KINDA WEIRDLY ATTACHED TO ROSE? I BUY STUFF TO GIVE HER AS .. GIFTS? OFFERINGS? ITS WEIRD. I VIEW KANKRI LIKE A SIBLING A LOT OF THE TIME, NO BAD FEELINGS ABOUT THE GUY PERSONALLY.

MISC. I CONSIDER MY CLUNKY ASS PC A VESSEL OF SORTS, SIMILAR TO HOW I VIEW OUR BODY. SIMILAR TO WREN I DO TRUST TARROT SO TO SPEAK, BUT SLIGHTLY DIFFERENTLY FROM EVERYONE SANE I BELIVE MY DECK IS ALIVE ON SOME LEVEL. I TRY TO BE NICE TO IT AND ASK IT FOR ADVICE SOMETIMES, NO BIG. I DO KNOCK ON WOOD FOR LUCK BUT IM NOT TOTALLY SURE WHY I DO. SOMETIMES I THINK IM AN ALIEN BODYSNATCHER ON A PHYSICAL LEVEL AND THAT TENDS TO SUCK. THAT'S IT, PEACE OUT. (EVERYONE'S HOME REALITY DID EXIST, THERE IS NO ONE SINGULAR TRUE KARKAT OR TRUE JADE BECAUSE WE ARE ALL EQUALLY TRUE. ILL PROBABLY GO MORE INTO ALL OF THESE LATER)